Wide Awake Part Seven: Hope

By ReclaimMyLife

Even the worst experiences can lead to positive growth. I would like end my story by describing some of the good that has come out of working through my trauma after the abuse.

I was a young mother, my son was born a month before my twenty-first birthday. As the children became more responsible and independent, I went through what some might call a "second adolescence" or "midlife crisis." I was enjoying the nightlife a little more, being less domestic. I was feeling less settled, grounded and content. Being with Mike took this to a whole new level. He had a ton of energy and wanted to be on the go constantly. It fed that part of me that was trying to reclaim some of what I perceived as my lost youth. But, what happened in our relationship definitely shocked me out of that phase.

I now feel more content being alone or with a few close friends. I am more in touch with my inner introvert. Enjoying the simple pleasures in life, like reading, has become more prominent in my daily routines. I am currently in, by far, the healthiest relationship of my life. I feel loved. I know who my friends are. I have far fewer friends, but our bonds are stronger and deeper.

Considering a career change to something focused on criminology, victimology or victims' advocacy has reopened a new phase of learning and discovery for me. It is invigorating. I have a renewed sense of purpose.

I have a better sense of who I am and who I want to be. I am looking at myself more honestly and openly than ever before. And, leaving dance and other things connected to the last chapter of my life has opened endless possibilities. Life has reached an important crossroads, where I can move beyond the pain of the past, while bringing my life lessons forward.

I am waking up to the dawn of a new day!