My living hell….from a loving partner to an abusive monster
By Asher
My story is not one that people would want to happen to them, not in a million years. 8 years ago my life changed for the absolute worst!! Like many of us do, we end a relationship for many reasons; we fall out of love, realise they’re not the one we want to live happily ever after with and many other reasons. However in my case I left the relationship because I was being controlled, physically and emotionally abused and my life was getting more terrifying by the day. I was very scared of leaving, part of me wanted to believe that by leaving the abusive relationship I would be free and able to move on. Well how wrong was I? As soon as I left, my life turned into a living hell. I receive 100’s of messages and phone calls every day. I remember the landline at home ringing all times of the night, even as I was trying to study for university exams.
To say I was terrified for my safety and safety of my friends and families would be an understatement. Over a period of months I had my life threatened several times, my car was kicked in, friends and family were threatened, I was being stalked at home, work and at my clients premises. So you can only imagine how scared and ashamed I was when I walked into my client’s pub and my ex had followed me there and started calling their landline asking for me. It was probably one of the lowest points on my life. I felt so alone, no idea how bad things could get and really afraid of someone I once loved. I requested a restraining order even though that didn’t stop the thousands of calls, stalking and threatening to kill me. He even stormed in my house and grabbed my phone convinced that I was talking and having sex with his friend.
My story isn’t anything particularly special but I want to spread the word about domestic violence and the mental illness that can happen from a traumatic event of domestic violence. It can take years to start talking about and acknowledging just how much of an impact a DV relationship can have on your life forever.
Only in the recent year or two I actually confessed to myself…yes you were a victim of domestic violence, because I knew as soon as I said those words, you can’t go back…everything just gets more real. I have and still do suffer awful anxiety and panic attacks. I have suffered two traumatic events in my life and only now am I ready to start talking about it. I am all for psychology, counselling and psychiatry. Shout out to my support group. You’re absolute angels. Thanks for reading xx