Still Living in Fear

By Amanda

I met a guy at 18 whom I thought this was is, he gave the attention I needed well that's what I thought...years went on I did anything to make him happy, leaving myself 2nd best years went on we separated and I went on to travel and explore who I was little to know once I returned home he was looking for me...I thought he'd grown up and maybe this time all wld be fine we bought a house - married - had a little boy - 10 months later it was all to hard for him...others were important and caring and supporting for us as a family stopped...any money that he earned he wanted to spend on himself he didn't want to pay mortgage, bills he was only interested in himself...he had 4 sister who always agreed with him and supported his choices... so this was a huge challenge for me,I was on maternity leave at the time and no funds coming in....in the end I just gave up trying to work with him and he left us with a bag of nappies and said take it off child support...it was a struggle full time working and paying a mortgage, child care and looking after a 10 month yr old! my neighbours were great and helped me when in need but this one neighbor was just to nice he knew I was struggling and he began to help me with child care pick ups, shopping, cleaning at the time this is what I needed as I could just keep my head above water.... he was nice, kind giving helpful the list goes on, all that my ex hubby didn't do he did little did I know he was making his way in to take over and take everything I had, a black leopard stalking his pray...the next minute we were in a relationship and he moved in - another side came out he stopped working and start to arrange the house just the way he wanted, he began checking my phone, when I left for work and returned home, how long I wld take attending the supermarket, he wld send mgs's to my friends to start issues he was isolating me slow but surely...money was going missing and or he wld say he'd do shopping for me but no food then wld get angry at me for questioning him - he started taking money from my sons money box and my stuff wld go missing, one day he needed money and became very abusive and threw a butchers knife down the hallway nearly missing me as i walked out and came charging at me demanding that i give him the money and how selfish i was he bent my arm bad that he cld have broken it until i said that i wld give it to him, this was my fortnightly centrelink money to support me and my son...weeks went on he bacame a monster he was on Ice he was gambling and all of my jewelery had been hocked into pawn shops he wldnt tell me he said that i had lost them he didnt know what i was talking about...other times if i didnt listen or he didnt get his way he wld punch me in the head and in places u cldnt see from the outsise

my son had witness alot of abuse, he wd even hurt him if he didnt call him dad he was terrible to him and i felt so bad that i couldnt stop this and if and when i did i wld then cop the the abuse...then i fell pregnant, this wasnt what i wanted nor needed right now - silly me told him instead of not having her especially with him who i was plotting to get rif of -- he turned to me and said if i was to abort it he would hurt me the same way as a father loosing their child!! what was one to do ? one day he was so paranoid being on the Ice told me to pack up the house as we needed to leave everyone was taking me away from him and how cld they do this especially me being pregnant he also did the whole guilt trip/poor him blah blah blah...i didnt want to go but he went on a verbal and abusive rage...he put my son in the car and forced me in aswell and off he drove up north my mum continued to call but he wouldnt let me answer...months went by from motel to caravans to tents to sleeping in the car...i lost everything my belongings, my house, my self...

people in other caravans were affraid to help me as the aftermath towards them of calling the police cld be very dangerous as he was out of control

finally after months of abuse, my body and mind were tired and if i didnt run from him that was it and my children wouldnt have a mother due to this terrible monster...i rang my mum and she arranged the police to watch us as they had to be very careful as he cld react towards me if he knew they were coming for him, 48 hrs later they caught him and he was imprisioned for 18 months what a relief but still till today we live in hiding and fear