My Dreams Were Destroyed

By Jan

Family, love, life, dreams, ambitions,destroyed in a 6 year relationship.

After living alone with 2 daughters following my husband or 18 years boating accident death i fell in love with a 6 years my junior panel beater. Following the first 2 years living together we bought a home together. I bought out his buiness partner and we ran the panel shop together. Over the next 4 years my savings were used up paying for wages, factory ren & BAS debts. The buisness was making less and less money to cover any costs. During this time several customers learned that my partner was working late at night and becamea drop in location for these single males. They were involved in drugs which my partner increasingly became involved in.

In the past 21/2-3 years he became addicted to Ice and Marajuana which he alternated. This altered his personality, moods, temper, control- everything. He became very controlling and had no tolerance for anyone (me) answering him back, disagreeing with him or voicing an opinion along with many other minor mistakes or accidents.

The result of which he would grasp me under my jaw or throat with one hand the other grabbed a hand full of my long hair. He would lift me up off my feet screaming, yelling, spraying spit in my face what ever he had been angered by. If i screamed he let go of one and gagged me. Quite often at work he was wearing leather gloves & would cut my lips, cheeks, tear out my earings, ripping holes in my earlobes. Bruising my neck, jaw, face, ears & eyes. He rarely punched me with a clenched fist but slapped my face, arms, body, legs, butt with an open hand as to sting & not leave bruises. If i was home in bed he did the same while i was trapped under the bed clothes.With his entire body weight on my chest. I was told if i knew his triggers then for PEACE sake why couldnt i just shut up and go along with him.

Due to the stress and anxiety of living like this i developed a muscular desease called Fibromyalgia which i have to learn to live with as there is no cure. Any stress now agrevates me to a point where its too painful to get out of bed & live a normal life.

My daughter walked in on one of his tirades & told him to "stop talking to my Mum like that"after that day i knew it had gone too far for me to fix or help him & family life was never going to be remotely nice again. The next time he attacked me was in bed because he was angry that i had snored during the night. I felt the weight of his knees on my chest crack my ribs, Loosing breath i wriggled away infuriating him further. I repeated he had to get off me & let go of my throat & hair, that it was the last time he would ever touch me again.

3 days later he drove to a mates home & i raced around the house grabbing & packing as many personal things as possible. My father bought me a plane ticket the next day & i lived in hidding at my sisters Brisbane home for several months , while i built my strength up again.

I took out an intervention order the day i returned. The police now have placed 4 changes on him due to the last day at home and an incident at our work. I also have 4 pages of incidents of attacks on me over the last 4 years with him along with photos. He needs to pay for what he has done.

The worst part now is the flow on effect on family and friends lives. Leaving with out a cent to my name. Moving 17 times in the past year. But i was lucky to leave him before he killed me and my 2 daughters still have a parent in there lives.

Im now rebuilding my life and moving on.